Wednesday 22 April 2015

S is for Sisters — a letter to someone imaginary





I don't have a sister, just an older brother... but sometimes I've wished it was different...




Dearest adored sister I’ve never had,

I’m not sure what has moved me to write to you, it’s something I’ve never done before when perhaps I should have. We have drifted apart, but somehow, as I head into the realms of the well-and-truly- middle-aged, you have found your way back to me.

As a child, I called you Janiece. Sorry. I think it was fashionable in the sixties. And such a departure from the storybook good-girl name Wendy I was saddled with.  Like my real-life much older cousin, you had fashionably bouffant hair and glamorous shimmering eye-shadow.  Of course, you adored me. We’d giggle as you shared secrets about the world of grown-up girls. We listened to The Beatles and you styled me up just like you. Whenever I drew you, it was in an alluringly fitted mermaid gown, a dramatic fish-tail affair that a pudgy child like me could never wear.

In my teen years, you became Bernadette. I forget exactly what I’d been reading, but you can bet your name was inspired by something romantic, probably set in Victorian England. Your age shifted too. I don’t mean you aged with me, quite the reverse; you grew younger. You were the little sister who looked up to me and admired my many talents and qualities. Nothing like my brother. You never teased or provoked me, never made fun of me. Around you I felt confident and valued. You celebrated my achievements. Around you I mattered. I had worth.

In the decades since, at university and in my career, you have floated in and out of my thoughts as a memory, a ghost from a dream. Until now. Now, you are back… nameless… formless… but none-the-less… back. Only now I feel you as an absence. 

I do not care about your age. Or your fashion sense.  I long for the bond of our shared experience—so different from that I have with my brother—for close conversations and soul-sharing companionship. With age, and without the daily contact of a workplace, so many friendships drop away. I find myself with time and space, but fewer people. I find myself falling. My darling sister I’ve never had, I know you’d catch me.

Ever yours,

W

 Song of the Day: The Long and Winding Road (Take 18), The Beatles—               31 January 1969




Question of the Day: Do you ever long for someone you've never known?




23 comments:

  1. I have recently found myself with a vacancy in the sibling department. One just like the one you have described. Although he was a boy and didn't dress me up, although I do remember him humouring me, letting me teach him how to plait a doll's hair before I gave her a crew cut and decapitated her. Anyway, if you ever want to go sibling shopping, I'm your girl. We can listen to the Beatles in the car: the two of us. xSnowf'

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  2. I am very blessed in that I have an older and younger sister as well as 3 older brothers. It is lovely to have sisters to share your problems with, and also have a good laugh with.If you ever need a faraway English 'sister' then I'm your girl! :-)

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    1. Wow that's a lot of siblings... was it a noisy household??
      And thanks, I'd have you as an honorary little sister any day...

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    2. Yes, it was noisy, and you learned to get in quick before missing out on anything!

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  3. Aww :) I was an only child until I was fourteen, so I still show a lot of the "only child" personality traits. My little sisters was born 14 years after me, and she is adorable :) Also, my mom's name is Bernadette. It's a lovely name!

    @TarkabarkaHolgy from
    Multicolored Diary - Epics from A to Z
    MopDog - 26 Ways to Die in Medieval Hungary

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    1. There's 14 years between our 2 boys, so I know what you mean about the only child traits. Sadly, the boys are not that close. Your sister is lucky to have you.

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  4. Can really empathise with your post - I have two much older brothers so grew up feeling quite the only child at times. I always longed for a sister but I'm fortunate though to have a cousin who I regard as a sister and lots of sister-in-laws. Many of them come pretty close to sisters too.

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  5. I have two older sisters, and both have stepped in at various times to fill the role of our missing mother who died when I was nine. It is true that we are friends that transcend the strictures of time and space, and yet it isn't quite as romantic as one might think. I had always wished for a brother, but once I had a step-brother for a time, I decided I was much better off without one. :)
    tm

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    1. LOL... yes, I confess to romanticising the sisters relationship ... i blame the Bronte sisters and Louisa May Alcott!

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  6. I have a younger sister. While growing up, I used to long for an elder brother. Not sure why. It was just one of those things.
    *Shantala @ ShanayaTales*

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    1. Someone to look out for you? I think being the oldest carries extra responsibilities

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  7. I have four sisters and no brothers so I feel confident in saying I have some understanding of this.

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  8. So I'm tipping it wasn't a sister you hankered after then!

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  9. as someone with three sisters, two older, one younger, and two brothers, one older, one younger I don't miss siblings at all.
    I do wish I had known a grandfather. Both of mine had passed before I was born. I often imagined a grandfather's hugs and love and wisdom.

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  10. I just adore this post! So loving, so poignant! I had two older sisters. One was 18 when I was born the other 16. The oldest always treated me with love, but like a child of hers (I was an aunt at age 4!) The younger, Sarah, all ways treated me like a little sister. And when I was a juvenile, she began to treat me like an adult, an equal. From them both, I got a lot of love and blessings. But I always envied their opportunity to grow up together. I wrote about Sarah in my L post this year.
    Visit me at: Life & Faith in Caneyhead
    I am Ensign B of Tremps' Troops
    with the A to Z Challenge

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    1. I do have a sister- her name is WENDY- maybe that is why I found you blog on the A-Z hop of serendipity. She loved the word serendipity when I used it...had not heard of it before...and George was her fave Beatle.

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    2. Thank you, Barbara, for both your compliment and your personal story. I'm trying to write in different styles and voices for the challenge and not feeling too confident about my degree of success.

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    3. Zannie... Your sister must be a wonderful person... and serendipity is my favourite word. Thanks for stopping by.

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  11. I always wanted a sister, but have one brother... who didn't get to know me until he left and came back... does anyone really know any one? I consider his wife like a sister, a friend and foe against him... well at least when she wants to get something.

    Jeremy [Retro]
    AtoZ Challenge Co-Host [2015]

    There's no earthly way of knowing.
    Which direction we are going!

    HOLLYWOOD NUTS!
    Come Visit: You know you want to know if me or Hollywood... is Nuts?

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    1. ...sadly, my sister-in-law is never complicit in my attempts to undermine my older brother

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  12. I yearned for a sister too...and have acquired some absolutely cool women along life's way.

    Janiece eh? Hmm.

    Ok - I feel like giving you an hug! :)

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