Ned me old mate,
I know you’ve been dead a dog’s age, but I'll give you the drum. It's time you gathered up all your ghostly guts and took a bit of action. Fair dinkum, Ned, there’s blokes on every bloody street in Melbourne walking about trying to impersonate you. It’s doing me head in.
Remember how you once called coppers "a parcel of big ugly fat-necked wombat headed big bellied magpielegged narrow hipped splaw-footed sons of Irish Bailiffs or englishlandlords", well, Ned, some of these wankers fit that bill too. Some are worse.
It's been 45 years since the fat-lipped prancing pommy bastard played you in that shithouse movie, so you've had a pretty quiet run with deadset dickheads mucking around with your legacy. But this new lot, Ned, they call 'em hipsters. They’re a pack of big-bearded wannabes and you’re the only one can stop ‘em .
Believe me, Ned, your badass image is getting crapped on from a great height by these drongos. Come back and sort 'em out mate. I'll help.
Song of the Day: The Wild Colonial Boy as sung by that prancy pommy bastard Mick Jagger, in the shithouse 1970 movie Ned Kelly.
|Ned Kelly, sketched as he was leaving Benalla. David Syme and Co, Melbourne, 1880, held at State Library of Victoria.|
|.A couple of Ned Kelly wannabes hanging out on Tumblr|