Friday, 3 April 2015

C is for Cats — a hate letter


Undearest all cats in the universe

 You guys need to know that you have no reason to stalk around acting all superior and stuff. Instead of sticking your noses up in the air and snickering at how you can make those dogs on two legs keepers of the food all sneezy and watery and stuff with your wafty hairs, you should take a good long look at what it is you think you contribute to the foodbowl  world. 

 Have you ever heard of a seeing–eye cat? A rescue cat? A cat that can smell cancer? Or drugs? How about a tracker cat? Or a police cat? Ever seen a statue of a cat that was a war hero? Nope. With you guys it’s all like Mean Girls versus Inspector Rex.

 And what’s with hanging out with nasties like Vito Corleone, Dr Evil and Delores Umbridge?  Did you run out of witches? Not enough crazy cat women around?

 You guys should get some sense of duty.

And while you're at it, lighten up. Get your noses out of the air and take some time to smell the roasts roses.

 Signed

 Anomonous  Amonyous    













Now let's rock out with The Fauves: Dogs are the Best People (1996)

 The c-critical question: How will the cats respond?


13 comments:

  1. i love this and would love to channel a retort from Bongo but Pluto is possessed by Satan and destroying the living room while i'm veinly attempting to keep him quiet to keep him from rupturing sutures...help!

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  2. I'll just imagine a Bongo tail flick in response...

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    Replies
    1. That's just very very mean and you know exactly why!

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  3. You guys are always riding on the coat-tails of Lassie, the seeing-eye crew, and the other gainfully employed do-gooders from your mob. In reality most of you just drool everywhere, eat all of the food, and leave giant polly waffles around for the humans to clean up.
    Signed
    Wafty Hair

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  4. Yeah? well at least we don't ...ummmm...

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  5. They are actually the rulers of the universe and have to be obeyed. Egyptians knew this!

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    Replies
    1. Yes... my furry ruler reminds me daily!

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  6. Living with one - I get the point. He even has a sign saying I am not spoiled my "owner" is just well-trained!

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  7. Well thank you for setting the world straight, what about the evil from James Bond always cats getting wrongly accused to being baddies. Cats do good things, I agree... whole-heartily.

    Welcome in the "C"... as a host I am stopping by to say thank you!
    Jeremy [Retro]
    AtoZ Challenge Co-Host [2015]

    There's no earthly way of knowing.
    Which direction we are going!

    HOLLYWOOD NUTS!
    Come Visit: You know you want to know if me or Hollywood... is Nuts?

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  8. This is so great (and this coming from a cat lover). Can't wait until tomorrow!

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  9. I enjoyed this, Cats needed to be put in their place! :-)

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  10. Haha! My cats like to treat me like I'm their slave. :P

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  11. Hahahaha :D I have always been a dog person, so I see no problem with this letter whatsoever. Cats freak me out (mostly because they can sense I'm not a cat person and do their darnest to convert me... XD)

    @TarkabarkaHolgy from
    Multicolored Diary - Epics from A to Z
    MopDog - 26 Ways to Die in Medieval Hungary

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