C is for Cats — a hate letter

Undearest all cats in the universe

 You guys need to know that you have no reason to stalk around acting all superior and stuff. Instead of sticking your noses up in the air and snickering at how you can make those dogs on two legs keepers of the food all sneezy and watery and stuff with your wafty hairs, you should take a good long look at what it is you think you contribute to the foodbowl  world. 

 Have you ever heard of a seeing–eye cat? A rescue cat? A cat that can smell cancer? Or drugs? How about a tracker cat? Or a police cat? Ever seen a statue of a cat that was a war hero? Nope. With you guys it’s all like Mean Girls versus Inspector Rex.

 And what’s with hanging out with nasties like Vito Corleone, Dr Evil and Delores Umbridge?  Did you run out of witches? Not enough crazy cat women around?

 You guys should get some sense of duty.

And while you're at it, lighten up. Get your noses out of the air and take some time to smell the roasts roses.

 Signed

 Anomonous  Amonyous    

Now let's rock out with The Fauves: Dogs are the Best People (1996)

 The c-critical question: How will the cats respond?