Friday 10 March 2017

Post No.5

I've been 'gunna' write a post for over a week now. 
Sorta tried. Sorta didn't. 
Despite having a shiny new laptop.
Despite being in a whole new world.
Despite wasting so many empty hours that Level 100 of both Bubble Witch and Panda Pop are both well within sight.
And when I look at my 'reasons', I find myself not just back on The Rock but right back in my youth. Back in my insecurities, back in my need to please, stuck in the back of my own mind. 
Having people read my posts brings me happiness. It keeps me connected, reminds me of what I value and, I guess, helps me feel I have worth. Or perhaps worth is not quite the right word. Maybe a more accurate way to express this is to say that having people read what I write helps me to feel that I have a point. That there is some sort of point to me
To my being. 
To my being at all.
Domed roof of the ancient cold store at Kew Gardens
Before we left The Rock, I was full of ideas about what might inspire my blog posts: objects in museums;  shows, exhibitions and plays; restaurants, cafes and shops; architecture, gardens and people-watching.  I even thought I might call the whole blog Wendy OFF the Rock while I am here on the other side of the globe.
But then I got stuck. 
After a mere four posts from London, I became bogged.
And what was the mind-cement?

'Are you going to write a funny one again this week?  They're the best.''I especially enjoyed your post about the lights... it made me laugh.''I always read right to the end of the humorous ones.'

I got stuck in my need to please.
I paralysed myself with the desire for approval.
Nothing funny about that.
So here for your enjoyment...
or not...
are some of the things I haven't written about:
The walk home from Marks & Sparks food hall
Celadon bowls that survived a shipwreck in the year 1100
Inside the Apollo Theatre
Bulgogi tacos at Jin Juu
I think I'm unstuck now. 

11 comments:

  1. Hey don't beat yourself up. It must be incredibly difficult coming half way around the world and trying to settle in and yes, find your purpose. You've clearly been trying to get out and about - what did you see at the theatre? And Marks and Sparks do good food but I don't think they can quite match those tacos! If you fancy meeting up with a home grown Londoner who has often struggled to find the meaning of life for a coffee (or in my case tea) e-mail me. (Address on profile.)

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    1. Thank you. I most certainly WILL message you.
      I have indeed been busy, and have seen several plays and a musical... Lazarus ( the David Bowie piece), Travesties, Dead Funny, Buried Child and Kinky Boots... plus the Cinderella panto at the Palladium. All of them starred actors I've only seen on the screen. I've also been to watch the taping for tv of The Last Leg and Child Genius. This Saturday I'm off to The Voice. I'm a bit of a live theatre junkie!

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    2. No wonder you haven't had time to blog lol

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    3. :-) It is good to see you, and it was good to see you over at my pace, Wendy! Do share more about London. I am smiling at Wendy off the Rock! Hugs!

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    4. Hi Vidya. I often sneak over to your colourful cheerful place with my coffee, but I haven't been very talkative. Welcome to London.

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  2. I'm stuck in a very dull suburb on the distant edge of Phoenix, far from the interesting things that exist in Phoenix, dealing with difficult family stuff, and I would love to hear anything you have to say about life in London, funny or not.

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  3. Now you see, to me, Arizona sounds exotic and fascinating. Not a "stuck" place at all. But daily struggle takes a toll wherever whenever, doesn't it. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Laura. Much appreciated. Hope you're escaping to Eldrich to keep life exciting.

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  4. I am happy to read whatever you write. Happy, sad, Mad, silly - it is all very very good. Sometimes our writing mojo takes a holiday. Don't worry it will be back - a writer is a writer is a writer.

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  5. Too kind... took you with me to the British Library on Friday... hope you enjoyed it

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  6. I always read your posts to the end Wendy no matter what they are about, as I enjoy them. Your personality shines through and that is what attracted me to your blog in the first place - and keeps me coming back.

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    1. Thanks, my friend. I wish I had your diligence with posting. You have so clearly found your groove, and your blog-family. But I know it didn't come easy. I have absolute admiration for you.

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