School mornings rarely run to plan in our household. Monday mornings are often particularly bothersome. But this week, after a 4-day weekend, it was Wednesday that caused the most trouble.
Boychild had failed to set his alarm. Boychild had to be woken (twice) ten minutes before our usual departure time and so spent the day unwashed, unfed and decidedly crinkly.
Boychild had two of his final exams on Wednesday.
No, Wednesday's was not a good morning. But it wasn't that unusual either, which led me to wondering ( because I'm reading a book about positive psychology at the moment) how our mornings might be represented in a Pollyanna / Little House on the Prairie kind of novel. So here's an excerpt :-)
NB: Names have been changed and expletives deleted to protect the guilty.
‘Kyle, are you ready yet?’ The click-clack of his mother’s heels overhead was almost as loud as her voice. It sounded to Kyle as if an angry camel was tap-dancing in the kitchen. Kyle knew the look she would have on her face: the look of someone who was thinking one thing but saying another. She always wore that face when they were running late.
‘Have you two cleaned your teeth? It’s time to go. We’ll be late,’ she called down the stairs. Then she added, ‘ Has anyone seen my keys?’
‘Not yet,’ Kyle clicked “Shut Down”. ‘Gemma’s still in the bathroom.’ He didn’t bother to check this. His sister spent most of her life in the bathroom.
‘Does anyone have any idea where my keys might be?’ Judy Carter was standing just outside Kyle’s door as she spoke. He had been too deep in thought to notice her coming down the stairs. Now he’d have to think quickly. He should have headed her off before she made it this far. His room was not very tidy. In fact, his room was very not tidy.
‘Oh Kyle, this is a disgrace,’ his mother breathed heavily as she spoke. Sometimes Kyle thought she did this so her head wouldn’t explode from all the pressure that built up inside it. ‘It’s unhealthy, Kyle. It’s a wonder you can find anything in here.’
Kyle resisted the temptation to remind her that he wasn’t the one who’d lost his car keys.
‘Sorry, Mum,’ he looked into her eyes as he spoke. ‘I’ll clean it up first thing after school. I promise. And I’ll do my teeth as soon as I can get into the bathroom.’
‘Gemma, would you please let your brother have his turn?’ Kyle’s approach had worked. Attention had turned to his sister. ‘What’s taking you so long? Actually, don’t tell me, we don’t have the time. Just hurry up. Your brother hasn’t even… So that’s where I left them.’
‘You know you could save a lot of time if you just used spray paint on your face,’ Kyle offered helpfully as he reached in front of his sister for the toothpaste.
‘Oh you two do make me laugh. Come along now. I’ll be waiting in the car.’
Just another day in paradise.