Showing posts with label Superman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Superman. Show all posts

Thursday, 2 April 2015

Biff Bam Batman — a letter of appeal


Dear Batman

Please excuse what you must think a very low-tech way of contacting you. I  considered transmitting my message directly into your brain, but decided against it upon recollection that whilst you are a bona fide member of the Justice League, you are, essentially, human. It would pain me greatly were I to be responsible for inadvertently blowing up your head. So I have resorted to my trusty typewriter to communicate what is, to me, a very real concern — a concern that involves you — and it is my fervent hope that you will support me in dealing with this disturbing matter.

  Are you aware that a movie entitled Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is in development —indeed, is being promoted before even the plot has been determined?  I am, to put it bluntly, outraged and appalled. 

 I will admit that I harbour some degree of envy that you are able to spend your human life incognito as a desirable millionaire whilst I am condemned to being a clumsy dork. And it is also fair to say that I occasionally covet your ability with women (and your car), but I can claim with absolute sincerity that I bear you no malice, nor do I have any reason to suspect any malevolence on your part.  Causing no harm to anyone or anything of good intent is central to our code for living. To suggest that either of us would knowingly harm another champion of truth and right is nothing short of scandalous.

 My faith in the world I have so long protected is wearing thin. Must everything, even our reputations, be tarnished for the sake of the almighty dollar? To be frank, I am no longer sure that I wish to defend the planet these offensive violence-mongers occupy. I will not stand by and watch as my name and legacy are besmirched. I intend to put a stop to this outrageous venture and it is my sincere hope that you will stand by my side in doing so.


I await your response most keenly,

Superman



The song:

Gotta be a bit of Biff Bang Pow by The Creation (1966)

The Creation Biff Bang Pow

And the B-burning question:Batman or Superman?


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